Challenge: Broken Relationship
Broken. Severed. Estranged. Disconnected.
This can happen within the parent-child, sibling, business, courting, or marriage relationship as well as within a friendship that has gone awry. The story below is about brothers; however, the principles for reconciliation offer hope to any broken relationship.
There is hope for you.
Reaction: Fight
He broke trust by saying something inappropriate in anger and now there is a rift between him and his brother. This isn’t the first angry word he has said to his brother. Numerous times he has offended him with poking, prodding, prying put downs aimed at ridiculing his brother’s views and practices. When his brother pleaded with him and asked him to stop, he responded in a fit of rage. He has frightened his brother into emotional paralysis. He now sees his errors and seeks forgiveness, wanting to make amends and treat his brother with respect and dignity.
He can approach his brother, not with a demanding spirit but with humility.
If he is rejected, he can accept it, and though it would be a loss, he can keep the matter in prayer. He can learn from this loss to give to others who will receive him. He can live confidently, hoping in Jesus alone, whether or not he is received well by others. There is one who directs his steps in relationships and can use even his character flaws for good. The Lord, alone, in His wisdom, can replace selfish ambition with meekness. What does “inheriting the earth” mean for the meek if not involving loving relationships?
Reaction: Flight
He was more concerned with how he would be impacted than about his brother’s well-being. His brother, sensing his heartlessness, went out on his own as soon as he could. They haven’t spoken or seen one another in years. The impasse is broken when he initiates, asks forgiveness, and offers to help.
His brother can respond to this complete turnaround and mutual trust can be established.
Their past history can be put behind them so that fears of repeat offenses won’t become a barrier to their willingness to care for one another. The author of friendship and of life itself sets a precedent of love. You can confidently follow it.
ACTION PLAN:
Recommended Psalms to Sing:
Psalms taken from The Book of Psalms for Worship ©2009 Crown & Covenant Publications. Used by permission.
Recommended Relationship to Study:
Judah and Joseph
Genesis 37-50
- Getting what you think you want without first considering the cost and consequences is not actually getting what you want.
- Although you would like to and work toward having your relationship restored, entrust the timing to the Lord.
- Your relationship with the Lord is all you need.
The Scriptures were quoted from the ESV Study Bible.
General Recommendation:
Come to Him and pray to Him for repentance and reconciliation. Without a supernatural intervention, the dark distance between you will remain. A restored relationship is a gift from God, who loves to give good gifts to His children.
Sermon on the Mount is a teaching series by Sinclair Ferguson helping you with a radically different perspective on life and relationships. The first of twelve is offered free.
As you connect the dots between your thoughts and your actions and their consequences, you might wonder how you landed on a path that promised bliss but delivered sorrow. In your weakness, you can pursue real help.
Read through the whole Bible, some in the Old Testament and some in the New Testament, some in Psalms and some in Proverbs, each day so that you can learn, over time, the created order of things. Do this on a revolving basis to continually meditate on the full counsel of God, learning how you were made, how you fell, and how you have been or can be redeemed. Sing Psalms as they can help you express your rich capacity for emotion.
Journal through your feelings, thoughts, and prayers. The ABCs Connection Journal (sample pages below) can be used as a helpful tool to record your thoughts; its flexible structure is designed for you to learn to connect and be sensitive to the needs of those you know.
EXAMPLE from the ABCs Connection Journal:
In the pages shown below, a mother uses the journal to explore and capture her feelings, thoughts, and prayers.
What happens after you buy a journal?
Use the ABCs Connection Journal as a flexible structure to help guide you in planning out your attitudes and activities and for improving how you communicate in your relationships.
When you buy a journal, you are also supporting the South Sudan Community Church ministry team, Cush4Christ.
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MORE RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES
Anticipated | New | Old | Bruised | Grateful