Challenge: Bruised Relationship
Misunderstood. Accused. Anxious. Unfulfilled.
Getting worn down can happen within a parent-child, sibling, business, courting, or marriage relationship as well as within a friendship. The scenario below focuses on a husband and wife continually misunderstanding each other and wearing each other down; however, the principles offer hope to any bruised relationship.
There is hope for you.
Reaction: Fight
Blindsided by bickering, one or the other becomes unreasonable and the accusations come as rapidly as bullets from an automatic weapon. They soon feel ashamed and want to learn how to anticipate the triggers, plan peace, and have joy.
Their anxiety can be lifted.
There is an answer for the emptiness that cries out for fulfillment.
Reaction: Flight
They live together for the children’s sake. They no longer do the things they had liked to do together. His life is his work. She keys off his moods, which at times are volatile. Anxiety, anger, and humiliating words mark their time together as each focuses on the faults of the other. They grow further apart in despair.
They can find poise, balance and hope…
…in the author of life and love.
ACTION PLAN:
Recommended Psalms to Sing:
Psalms taken from The Book of Psalms for Worship ©2009 Crown & Covenant Publications. Used by permission.
Recommended Relationship to Study:
Job and his wife
Job, esp. Chapters 1, 2, 19, 42
- Pain points you to look up and ask. When you feel misunderstood, your spouse likely does too. Ask God to make you humble, compassionate, and willing to receive grace.
- Love covers over words spoken in haste and desperation.
- Hold on even when your spouse seems to have given up. Trust that goodness is working even in the evil. [For a compassionate take on Job’s wife, read The Most Misunderstood Woman in the Bible.]
The Scriptures were quoted from the ESV Study Bible.
General Recommendation:
Wait on Him, be humble, listen. As you read the Bible, note how often God sees it best to bring forth good out of evil rather than to eliminate evil. For this reason, those who trust Him can bear to suffer being misunderstood, belittled, and mocked without being crushed. You are learning that He works together good for those who love Him. You wait, eagerly expecting His good, and all the time you wait, you are telling Him you love Him.
Read through the whole Bible, some in the Old Testament and some in the New Testament, some in Psalms and some in Proverbs, each day so that you can learn, over time, the created order of things. Do this on a revolving basis to continually meditate on the full counsel of God, learning how you were made, how you fell, and how you have been or can be redeemed. Sing Psalms as they can help you express your rich capacity for emotion.
Journal through your feelings, thoughts, and prayers. The ABCs Connection Journal (sample pages below) can be used as a helpful tool to record your thoughts; its flexible structure is designed for you to learn to connect and be sensitive to the needs of those you know.
EXAMPLE from the ABCs Connection Journal:
In the pages shown below, a husband uses the journal to explore and capture his feelings, thoughts, and prayers.
What happens after you buy a journal?
Use the ABCs Connection Journal as a flexible structure to help guide you in planning out your attitudes and activities and for improving how you communicate in your relationships.
When you buy a journal, you are also supporting the South Sudan Community Church ministry team, Cush4Christ.
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MORE RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES
Anticipated | New | Old | Broken | Grateful