Challenge: New Relationship
Disillusioned. Disappointed. Distracted. Disengaged.
New relationships include new courting, marriage, business, friendship, or new child by birth or adoption relationships. The scenario below is about a new mom who is troubled by her lack of connection to her child; however, the principles offer hope to any new relationship.
There is hope for you.
Reaction: Fight
She found it difficult to steady her thoughts before the baby arrived, never having been much of a planner. With a multitude of other relationships and responsibilities, she senses bitterness and resentment building up within her. The anger in her voice only makes her angrier. She wants to be open and available to her child but is fighting a losing battle. Her biting words drive away those whom she presumes don’t understand. She admits to herself, though, that she hasn’t been willing to give them a chance to hurt her or to help her.
She can find a way of thinking, planning, and relating to others that would not only bring her peace, but would be an example to her child on how to live.
There are others with whom she can belong. Her joys and burdens can be shared. She can find others on this same journey for wisdom, joy, and hope.
Reaction: Flight
She looks at her child and then back at her laptop. She’s confident she knows what to do with the laptop and is comfortable with the world it represents. As for her child, she’s stumped. The TV will only do for so long. She wants to engage with this little ‘other’, but time is limited and the laptop’s lure has been stronger.
She can order her thoughts off the flight of least resistance.
She can needle the thread that connects her to God and her family. Her thoughts and the company she keeps can strengthen or fray the fiber of that thread. She can become a student of God and her family though this is unfamiliar territory. It will take the same level of interest that it took for her to learn technology. She can find the motivation. She can find forgiveness when she fails. She can change from the inside out.
ACTION PLAN:
Recommended Psalms to Sing:
Psalms taken from The Book of Psalms for Worship ©2009 Crown & Covenant Publications. Used by permission.
Recommended Relationship to Study:
Mary and King Jesus
Luke 1:36 – 2:52
- When God calls you to do something that has impact beyond yourself, He will provide one or more persons to help you accomplish it, or He will help you ride out the feeling that you are all alone in it.
- He will motivate you to live based on hope and not fear. If you do succumb to fear, you can call on Him to forgive you and give you fresh reserves of hope.
- He will supply you with internal (and eternal) treasures that outweigh the inconvenience of detoured plans.
The Scriptures were quoted from the ESV Study Bible.
General Recommendation:
Worship God. Jesus perfectly kept the law of God for us when we could not. As we look to Him and learn of Him, we find the thread that strengthens our hearts toward family, friends, neighbors, and even enemies. The Westminster Confession of Faith and Catechisms and Heidelberg Catechism summarize the Bible’s chief themes. Read through the whole Bible, some in the Old Testament and some in the New Testament, some in Psalms and some in Proverbs each day so that you can learn, over time, the created order of things. Do this on a revolving basis to continually meditate on the full counsel of God, learning how you were made, how you fell, and how you have been or can be redeemed. Sing Psalms as they can help you express your rich capacity for emotion.
Journal through your feelings, thoughts, and prayers. The ABCs Connection Journal (sample pages below) can be used as a helpful tool to record your thoughts, a flexible structure for you to learn to connect and be sensitive to the needs of those you know.
EXAMPLE from the ABCs Connection Journal:
In the pages shown below, a new mother uses the journal to explore and capture her feelings, thoughts, and prayers.
What happens after you buy a journal?
Use the ABCs Connection Journal as a flexible structure to help guide you in planning out your attitudes and activities and for improving how you communicate in your relationships.
When you buy a journal, you are also supporting the South Sudan Community Church ministry team, Cush4Christ.
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MORE RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGES
Anticipated | Old | Broken | Bruised | Grateful