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Pure Heart, Pure Body

Our bodies are not more powerful than the God who gave them the ability to feel great pleasure and great pain. Sexual immorality, all impurity or covetousness are not even to be named among us for good reason. (See Ephesians 5:2-4) Best to let some things lie sleeping, dormant until marriage, rather than awakening a hungry lion and not feed it for years! In that case, it will hunt and find its prey. The one who awakened it will regret doing so.

Marriage is not between two but among three: God, a man, and a woman, and “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12) God created great fun with no remorse, shame or guilt to destroy it because He is pleased to do so for His glory and we give to one another (not for our selfish desires). It’s the difference between the feelings that arise when we receive a surprise gift (Ecclesiastes 5:19-20) and when we have  stolen it. (Ecclesiastes 6:2) What was given and what was stolen might be the same item; the difference is in how it was obtained and whether the pleasure is sustained over time or fleeting. “From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.” (Isaiah 64:4) Waiting is loving! (See 1 Corinthians 2:9).

Gifts in marriage that provide thoughtful pleasure, unlike any other, are attributed to God through your spouse, inspiring deep gratitude. He provides a built-in fence to keep His people safe and pleased within the bounds of marriage. This, as opposed to a live wire whipping around you mercilessly as it shocks you as it wills without regard to your thoughts about it, if you even get the opportunity to think about it! “Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.” (Proverbs 9:17-18)

Parents, you can provide a buffer for your children against the social shocks of life by being there for them and teaching them God’s truths so that they internalize them and develop the tension-regulating functions they need for life. Let them not be those who “knoweth” what they cannot truly understand and yet “knoweth not” of what they must understand. Wise restraint produces freedom, while fools rush in and are enslaved. Save them from death, both physical and spiritual. Save them from having to become self-imposed martyrs desiring physical pleasure (until the Lord graciously removes it in His sanctification process in our lives) before they know of covenant love, before they have experienced the surpassing pleasures of knowing the Lord, who is our very great reward. (See Genesis 15:1, 1 Peter 1:8, Psalm 73:25) “When the bridegroom is with them, they cannot fast.” (Mark 2:19) Jesus promises us life to the full in this life and in the age to come, the new heavens and the new earth!!! Jesus wins, and when we follow Him, we win too! (See John 10:10, 1 John 2:6, Revelation 21:1-6)

Don’t be like that anxious mom who had been waiting for the question to arise from her child and who had prepared herself with a detailed, 45 minute lesson complete with whiteboard illustrations. One day, her son asked what, in her mind was to be the inevitable question, “What is sex?” She proceeded with her in-depth sex education class. About 30 minutes into the lesson, her son interrupted her and said, “Mom, this is all very interesting, but I just need to know what to put in the blank here that says ‘Sex’ on this form that I’m filling out for school.” Now, as your children are reading their Bibles and asking you questions, there are certainly age appropriate things you can say that fully satisfy them. For example, they understand that what is meant by the seventh commandment, “Do not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14), is that it is not from God for people to act like they are married to someone other than the person they are married to…You can also share that, just as you wouldn’t ask your children to carry a 70 lb. luggage, if something is too heavy for them to carry right now, they are to trust you to carry it for them until they are able to handle it well themselves.

Let that sleeping lion lie. Wait until it is clear from the Lord’s wisdom that they are ready to hear and adult enough to do. I think if one learns to say no to their urges, appetites, and desires for whatever it is as a youngster, when the hormones hit, they are not without practice in self-denial (I think … and pray!!!) Again, this kind of teaching is part of the buffer you, as parents, can gift your children with throughout their youth to help them weather many a storm. “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22) Love the Lord, and your spouse and child(ren) if you have them … and wait on the Lord.

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